Mother, how could you

by Alicia Edelweiss

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  • Hand-Made CD Edition
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    The CD comes in a hand-made CD Cover with Artwork by Alicia Edelweiss.
    Stuck together with red cloth and a red flap around the back with hemp rope tying it together.

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    With it also comes a lovingly made Zine/Booklet going with the album, including all lyrics written by hand and illustrated by Alicia Edelweiss.

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  • A5 Lyrics Booklet Hand-illustrated

    44-page Booklet/Zine with hand-written Lyrics and hand-drawn Illustrations to the album. Artwork by Alicia Edelweiss.

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1.
Unfriendly People they break my heart to be a sensitive artist alas! What a curse! I went to church to ask God for some money I climbed the roof and you chased me down this isn’t the place for unchristian behaviour there’s really no need to lose all your manners, lady! Unfriendly people what’s wrong with you Man, what’s wrong with you? Do I look like I’d do something nasty to you? Dirty old hobo did that have to be? (Did that have to be!) You threw that dirty handkerchief quite obviously at me (Did that have to be!) Innocently, like a silent lamb you crept towards my park bench area an old used tissue right in my back a real nasty attack! No. an abused old man who gets molested by cats and other unfriendly people Dirty old hobo! With your 5 plastic bags that you carry all day please believe me when I smiled at you I didn’t mean to offend you in any way oh, dirty old hobo! I guess you mistook me for some rich little brat but just cause I don’t look like a homeless bum anymore it doesn’t give you the right to treat me like scum! Oh God… oh dirty old hobo! I wanna give you all my love, oh yeah Mmmm… everything’s gonna be alright now, ok Okay… Unhappy church-lady with your worried, mashed up face you’re guarding the gold of somebody else unhappy bitch you’re such a hypocrite do you wanna be my lover bitch
2.
and daddy, they loved me too much they raised me to praise me spoilt that little brat oh my, oh my oh my Well mummy and daddy, they just didn’t care they did let me live I’ll have to be fair Well thanks for that! But in the end I turned out fucked up I don’t know why, but I turned out fucked up So society taught me things I didn’t know that I was a girl, that I wasn’t a boy that I was a child, so I didn’t count and that I had to be quiet when I wanted to shout, but I never learnt how this karma thing works how much do I give to get what I want? and the other day I broke a glass I heard it brings luck cause that’s bad luck in bad luck and that makes it a plus but in the end I turned out fucked up after all of this I turned out fucked up They did their best to make me frown they did their best to let me down and later on I found out that they were trying to help indeed, they thought that they were being a help, but I guess I will have to forgive cause I know that I would do the same after all I was made to be insane and I guess that’s why I’m so fucked up I guess that’s why I’m so fucked up And now that I’m a so-called grown-up I’ve forgotten how much I used to hate my own kind believe me, I could not be less in shock what have they done to my body and my mind? what have they done to my body and my mind? And I’m too fucked up not to fuck it up I’m too fucked up not to fuck it up and we’re too many people and all fucked up too many people and all fucked up Oh, we’re all, we’re all fucked up! Oh, we’re all, we’re all fucked up! And all together now! We’re all, we’re all fucked up! Yeah, all together! We’re all, we’re all fucked up! Hey! …. This is so unfair …. Why am I so fucked up…
3.
Yes, I remember the day the day when you heard me say, “Hey, please kill me the day the day when I say I love youuuu” My face was full of glitter you couldn’t form a word despite communication problems I think my heart hurts And then you said you were in love with me to make me feel embarrassed and then you gave me your ketamine and I gave you my acid la laaa So, please please kill me! Oh, please, please kill me! Oh, please, please kill me! oh, please somebody kill me And when all my stuff was gone you gave me an accordion and then you paid me the dinner which was really cool, cause I was really broke and then you gave me some money so I could get safely home yeah, I felt slightly rented but I couldn’t say no la laaaaa So, please please kill me! Oh, please please kill me! … oh, please somebody kill me Oh, facebook! Is so unromantic can’t you write me a letter? and send a picture of your penis? and maybe some more money? And I died and I died and I died I was driven over by a truck driven by my parents and I died I was strangled to death by a foot and I died I jumped from a building hoping to find enlightenment and I died oh when the apocalypse came… Oh, when the apocalypse came everyone was so sad everyone was so sad that we all were going to die! and when the apocalypse came nobody knew if we were going to die today or if we were going to die tomorrow! and when the apocalypse came I wanted to go home oh I wanted to go home cause I wanted to die alone I wanted to die alone alone alone alone alone I didn’t wanna see everyone die next to me… that’s disgusting
4.
I used to be a prostitute, mhm I used to suck cock 25 hours a day I used to be very passionate, mhm I used to love to execute the free-loving hippy way, yeah Well, one day I went to Portugal, oh Portugal and in this Portugal I met one of these weird bearded guys the moment when he heard me sing he did say some quite insulting things he said, “Alice! I’ve seen better whores to be honest you ain’t quite professional you know most prostitutes they ask for money that’s how they survive you know giving blow-jobs for food and accommodation, man! that ain’t a life Alice… Alice… I can make you a rockstar! And I’m gonna be your manager! Hey Alice, I’m gonna make you a rockstar! And I’m gonna be your sexy manager Now Alice! I heard you sing and listen just to one thing you know you can make so many people happy at the same time and I’m not talking ‘bout a good old gang bang no! Alice, you got the voice! You don’t have to be a whore! you don’t have to be a dirty whore, anymore! No, Alice, I can make you a rockstar! don’t listen to your friends that say music business will corrupt ya yeah, maybe you won’t earn as much as being a prostitute maybe you’ll even have to pay people for playing to them but! you know that’s the most important thing in life, Alice that’s creativity! Yeah!! Wohohoo! Did you hear me, Alice?! It’s creativity! Fuck yeah! ok… give it to me Enslaved Forestman Woo! Alice… Alice… I can make you a rockstar and I’m gonna be your manager Hey Alice, I’m gonna make you a rockstar! In Portugal, oh in Portugal! Portugal, Portugal! Oh Portugal! Oh Portugal! Portugal Portugal Portugal the country of seagulls the country of the Portuguese language yeah, I never learnt how to talk Portuguese, no But I think it’s a motherfucking rocknroll sexy language! You dirty whore not anymore
5.
My mother said to me some time ago, “Lissy… it’s really nice what you’re doing… you’re making concerts… you’re singing about cockroaches and boys and drugs… and it’s really really cute! And don’t get me wrong! Me and dad, we’re really proud of you - after all, you are our favourite daughter… But Lissy! Look at the environment! Look at the world! It’s fucked up! Look at the people, what they’re doing to each other! It’s really really sad. If you wanna be a musician nowadays, you have to be political! You’re my daughter! Make mum and dad proud of you! Change the world! Do it for Mama!” I really love my mother. And if someone asks me a favour, I’m gonna do it. I’m a nice person. So I thought, what are the two most powerful things on earth? Music, obviously. And… God…! And what, if I combine the two of them? … I shall become invincible! And like Joan d’Arc fought the English – I shall fight the ignorance in this world… Earthlings, ducklings and all the things that I created listen up! This is a message from God and what I shall say is truly sacred yeah…! Boys and girls have disobeyed what was written in stone for many decades and Moses was a little confused in his head when he spoke about the 10 commandments Naaaay! 10 Commandments, Moses? I shall laugh and spit in your face! You knew, that there was the 11th commandment! And you hid it from us on purpose But I am not a selfish woman and as I have received it from God I shall share it with you tonight and it went like: You, you shall YOU SHALL NOT FART no, you, you shall YOU SHALL NOT FART Nooo…! …haaa… ok! Go ahead! If you want the devil in your bed! For when Thou sleepst Thou artst most vulnerable and when Thou screamst in delight of a fart! punishment shall be fast! For you! you shall YOU SHALL NOT FART No you! you shall you shall not, not fart! Nooooo… You shall not! You shall not fart!! Oh! Oh yes! Punish me, oh Lord! PUNISH ME! For I too, I too have farted in my life! Oh God! Fuck fuck fuck! Ok ok… I think you got the message. So, now we can go to the next dimension. Uhm, if you understood this, we can carry on, continue to Love and Happiness! haaa… hit it Forestman! Wohoo! Oh people! don’t drink that Coca Cola, oh no If you drink that Coca Cola you will burn in hell for exploiting the well of water in Africa! Oh yeah in Africa! oh oh No, people don’t take that flight to Barcelona, Girona for don’t you know it is considered a crime to pretend to be a bird and take the piss out of time! and God will thank you for emitting less CO2 less CO2, less CO2! Uuuu… Oh people! don’t neglect the flowers and the trees around you, oh no if you give a bit of love to a forget-me-not the sun will shine on your face and the little garden fairies they will dance dance around you! Last message from God… People, people don’t! Don’t… don’t buy… Don’t buy that can, the can of tuna! The can of tuna fish… the tuna fish, they are, they are almost extinct!The beautiful tuna fish! and you know why? it’s because of you! and because of you! and because of you! Because of you! don’t you, don’t you understand? don’t you understand what I’m talking about? You stupid people!! why for God’s fucking sake am I doing this??!! Fuck!!! The tuna!!! And when I look at you I know that there is pure evil in the world but I shall forgive because the devil forgives
6.
Ok, this song is for you my dear ego, you piece of shit... My ego tries to tell me that I’m disgusting cause I drink my piss every day My ego tries to tell me that I’m fat and useless and lazy and stupid Oh, oh oh oh oh! Oh no, oh no!! Oh god! How, how could you? oh no oh no… My ego is full of shit so I like to take the piss out of it My ego is full of shit so I like to take the piss out of it Ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…. oh yes! Oh yes! Ha ha ha!! Do you know the feeling of despair Your worst enemy is in your head very very bad But believe me this is not our natural state cause we are meant to be happy! So I don’t just drink my piss… No, I slap it! And then I jump off a cliff and then I eat my own shit and then I get really sick! And then I practice mortification of the flesh cause we are more than our bodies aaaaa…..
7.
Someone broke my heart I knew from the start that once again it would come to an end I broke my heart I broke my heart, my heart and now I’m so sad, so sad and now I’m so sad, so sad I drank a bottle of oil or was it two? I drank two bottles of oil or was it three? I drank three bottles of oil or was it four? well anyway I think I’m gonna I think I’m gonna have a heart attack gonna have a heart attack gonna have a heart attack gonna have a heart attack gonna have a heart attack gonna have a heart attack ‘cause I broke my heart I broke my heart, my heart and now I’m so sad, so sad and now I’m so sad, so sad sad And the sun is melting my hair there’s humiliation in the air and the sand is burning my feet well anyway I think I’m gonna gonna have a heart attack gonna have a heart attack gonna have a heart attack gonna have a heart attack ‘cause I broke my heart I broke my heart, my heart and now I’m so sad, so sad! and now I’m so sad, so sad! oh, I broke my heart, my heart! oh, I broke my heart, my heart!
8.
Let’s take a look at my brain I claim, you’ll find it to be in pain, in pain, in pain Let’s take a look at my heart when I ask it a question it’ll probably answer please ask again when you’ve got a proper question you retard And my friends who I thought to be pretty cool are forcing me to drink vodka with beer and my eyes who had sworn till death do us part are leaking and shredding the best memories I had I like to sit alone at home but I don’t feel free who stole my ability to hang out with the crazies who said it was a good idea to be rich and famous oh, I wanna be famous oh, I wanna be famous I wanna be famous oh, I wanna be famous I wanna be famous I wanna be famous I want to pretend that we speak the same language that we’re both made out of garbage that you believe in my magic but you said it’s just dirty tricks you said my magic isn’t magical enough I hate you We’ve come to a dead end and I am gonna climb the wall I will love you if you follow I will love you if you follow and I promise that we’ll fall really hard really hard and if you don’t fall I’ll pull you down to the ground to the ground I wanna hate, I wanna love I wanna cry, I wanna die break my heart, tear it apart I wanna feel something real rip out my eyes rip out my eyes keep me alive rip out my eyes keep me alive rip out my eyes keep me alive rip out my eyes
9.
Am I the only one on the boat on the only boat in the sea in the only sea I have seen so far so far so far so far so far is the sea in a life without dreams so far is the sea in a life without dreams My three walls and a window a window that never sheds light My three walls and a door a door that’s always shut My three walls and a brown a brown that never shows dirt How should I create listening to you? Where is my voice listening to you? The altar built by a lover will he return ever When the drums come in and me and the violins sing sing sing and I am melting into my bed and all I feel is me and all I feel is me Leave me alone I am happy like that leave me alone or I will go mad Leave me alone I’m happy like this leave me alone and then stay please Why did you ever leave me alone? What will become of all the poems I wrote What will become what will become what will become what will become of all the beautiful things I’ve done? What will become what will become what will become what will become of all the beautiful things I’ve done?
10.
If I was still a baby I'm sure you'd love me as if I'd never been bad If I was still a baby I’m sure you’d love me as if I’d never been bad So I went to the graveyard oh to the graveyard with my baby in my arms I dug a tiny tiny grave oh a tiny grave for that baby in my arms before, I smashed its head against a gravestone cause I was thirsty and then I threw it inside yes, I had to kill my baby I truly loved it but it made me jealous inside They said such a beautiful baby such a beautiful baby but they didn't say that to me yes, I left I left my baby in the dumps, in the dumps where you left me oh such a beautiful baby such a beautiful baby so white and full of blood If I was still a baby I'm sure you'd love me as if I'd never been bad They said such a beautiful baby such a beautiful baby but they didn't say that to me yes, I had to kill my baby I truly loved it but it made me jealous inside oh such a beautiful baby such a beautiful baby so white and full of blood

about

My highly esteemed future consumers,

I hereby awkwardly present my debut album "Mother, how could you" - A sick tragic comedy in ten acts. I recorded most of the album at home with a single microphone over a period of a year. I am glad I took myself time, also to make the booklet that goes with the album - for now I know it was all made with love and I will not have to regret having rushed with the process!

I hope you enjoy it.

If you wanna pay in any other way drop me a line at aliciaedelweisscircus@gmx.at and we can figure something out.

Cassettes of the album are available on www.kontingentrecords.bandcamp.com

Much love,

Alicia Edelweiss

credits

released April 24, 2016

ALBUM CREDITS

All songs recorded and arranged by Alicia Edelweiss at home
- except for "Please Kill Me", "The 11th Commandment" and "I broke my heart", which were recorded by Arthur Gerstendorfer.

All songs mixed and mastered by Thomas Öggl

All songs written and performed by Alicia Edelweiss with additional support from
- Jakub Deptuch aka Enslaved Forestman on (e-)guitar on "Please Kill Me", "The 11th Commandment" (where he also slaps his back), guitar solo on "The Prostitute and the Manager" and the drum loop on "I broke my heart"
- Insert Random Name Here (e.g. Gwen) playing the flute on "The Prostitute and the Manager"
- very aggressive sheep moaning on "My three Walls", recorded in Aberporth, Wales

Artwork by Alicia Edelweiss
Cover Design by Jakub Deptuch

Album concept and production by a chicken

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Alicia Edelweiss Vienna, Austria

Used to be a street musician for quite a while. Now singer, composer, producer, circus artist, theatrical performer and a lot more - Alicia Edelweiss performs something between freak folk, anti folk and chamber pop and is based in Vienna, Austria, currently. ... more

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